more of an update

my last poast was a little vague. i gotta admit...i'm finding the whole idea of blogging kind of strange right now. i'm gonna give it a try. i guess i'm just having a hard time finding the words to express what i want to right now.

my life has changed so dramatically since my last postings. funny how life does that. in the blink of an eye...my entire life was rearranged. i still find it surprising some mornings when i wake up that this is my life. i'm having a hard time dealing with the ugly side of divorce. when the parents of children don't get along, it's the children who pay the consequences. and they didn't ask for any of it. my children are my everything. my everything. and to know that they are hurting because their mom and dad can't communicate in a healthy manner, that kills me. one thing i have learned through this is that, i am only responsible for my own reactions and actions. as long as i am accountable for myself, i'm doing all that i can.

i've spoken a lot about peace here on my blog. my search for it. my longing for it as more than a few fleeting moments. as a constant in my life. i'm still on that search. but learning to find it more and more in the daily. i'm getting better at realizing my own limitations and learning to let go of what i do not have control over. and that brings me peace. still not a constant. but i'll take it.

with the plethora of emotions i feel on a daily basis....i welcome those moments of peace.

so...life is very different. i am working full time. thankfully, i really enjoy my job. so the 40 plus work hours a week, they aren't so bad. i'm tired. but in a good way. work is good for the soul. and it's helping get me to where i need to be.

so yeah. i don't really know what else to write right now. i'm gonna take this blog thing slow. i'm out of practice. :) but i'll pop in from time to time. hopefully with some art to share soon!

take care.

much love and peace

kate

Comments

[Amy Coose]

I have a friend who is going through this right now as well, and I commend you for being as strong as you are. Let us know if you need anything. You will get through this, because you have to.

[tara pollard pakosta]

you are right, you are only responsible for your actions. and if someone is reacting negatively and you just be positive and hold on to that, then maybe just maybe that will change the other person....and if not, you did all you could. my sister went through a divorce with her 2 kids and step kids and it was horrible, but she just muddled through and after a year or two, they (her and the ex) were able to put aside the ugly and move on with the good for the sake of the children....hopefully that will happen for you! i pray that it does kate. your children are so deserving and so beautiful!!!!
tara

[Nadia]

great to hear from you kate. was worried about you. glad to see you blogging again. ciao!

[Debbie]

So good to see you back Kate!!! Have been concerned about your absence and missed seeing your work & blog posts!! I hope life gets easier as the days progress. You're a strong woman Kate! I admire that!!

[elizabeth rosemond]

I agree with Tara 100%. Be true to who you are, so you can sleep at night and know that you haven't stooped to someone else's level. I had to learn this the hard way with the father of my oldest girl. In the end, things worked out as they should have. It just took perseverance and a little prayer :)

xo
elizabeth

[deanna thompson]

its so good to see you back. I have been worried about you. thinking about you a lot. hang in there girl. call if you need to...anytime.
deanna

[Suzy]

Hey Kate ... I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are. Going through my divorce was the toughest emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on. I isolated myself, didn't want to talk with friends/family. I found a book "Growing through Divorce" that was helpful. One thing I discovered was that no one else will ever have my experience .. I own my own experience. I learned to not 'rent' space in my soul to the one that I found hurt me, caused me to feel emotional pain.

You are an incredible woman and know that 'this too shall pass', yet the emotions will come & go for years to come .. and we will recognize that and grow with them.

Yes, cherish those moments of peace and be able to recognize those moments. Those moments will continue to grow and begin to last longer and come closer.

Bless ....

[Amy]

Glad to see you back online... I'm sure I'm not the only one who has missed your blogs and art.

[Sandra Karlsdóttir]

Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this... I came looking for some inspiration which I always get from your projects and layouts and saw your post. Funny thing is that I can so relate to this post, I'm in the middle of getting a divorce and it kills me that we can't talk and compromise like grownups so that our daughter doesn't have to experience the hurt of her parents not getting along. Weird how much life changes when the one thing that has been constant in my life for the last 8 years is gone. What gets me through these days is remembering that "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning to dance in the rain."

Hope things get easier, Kate... I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Hugs, Sandra